One Size Doesn't Fit All...And It Shouldn't

Happy International Women’s Day, Shades Readers!  What an amazing opportunity we have to celebrate our progress and our accomplishments in all aspects of our lives today.  We have seen posts and pictures and reflections via social media on what we have accomplished.  Women are moving forward and breaking down barriers every day in business, science, medicine, even in more male dominated industries like the trades.  More and more, we see women being the main sources of income in their households without the stereotype of the ‘emasculated’ partner.  We know that women and men are very different but those differences do not connote a lack of capability for either gender.  Let’s be sure to point out that there are many men out there who support women in the ways they should be supported, fully and equally.  We celebrate those men today as well. 

I have been quite reflective lately on a topic which has affected me directly for most of my life and while to some it may seem trivial or superficial, it actually isn’t.  Let me give you a preface before I get into the heart of the matter: I am fat.  It’s ok, I am quite comfortable saying that.  I don’t judge myself based on that fact alone.  I am also smart and educated, funny (though there is the stereotype of fat people being funny), cultured, hard working, committed, pretty confident and fairly comfortable financially. 

What I find so interesting is that fat people and more specifically, fat women, are often looked at as the opposite of many of the characteristics I just described about myself.  So fat women are seen as lazy, uneducated, unprincipled and not able to fend for herself financially.  Let’s be clear, I am not describing how all larger people are seen but the prejudices are real.     

Now we could talk about this topic for days and I encourage you to post your thoughts in the comments.  But for today, I want to discuss how these stereotypes play out in the area of fashion.

As I mentioned, this topic has affected me most of my life and if you are bigger than most people, it will have affected you as well.  Affordable plus-sized clothing is still mostly unfashionable and cheaply made and even in a time where social media has democratized this niche part of the fashion industry through fashion blogging and more and more websites offering up more and more selections, the issue is heavily politicized in many ways.  What I mean by that is that yes we may have more selections (not as many as ‘regular sized’ clothing) but there are still many stores and designers who shun the very thought of providing plus sized options.  My theory on this is related to the aforementioned prejudices.  Clothes, like many products, are marketed to create a sense of a lifestyle, an aspirational way to live – if you wear this, you will look beautiful, if you use this product, you will be admired.  If you are fat, you don’t fit into those aspirations.  Fashion is still for the skinny mostly.

For an insightful read on this topic, click here for a 2018 article in the Washington Post.  One quote from the article resonated with me and I will share: “When it comes to size, it’s hard to separate the personal from the cultural — even if we should. How a size 24 feels about her body is, in significant ways, affected by how the culture feels about it and whether she makes a decision to ignore prejudices, upend them or internalize them. We are still working toward a society in which everyone can simply be.”

Refinery29.com explores the notion of how fashion connotes privilege which can ostracize many - click here to give it a read. 

If anyone thinks I am celebrating being fat, I am not.  I am just saying that whether I am fat or skinny, I deserve to have options that make me feel good about myself and that cater to my sense of style.  Finding a graduation dress or a wedding dress or a great suit for work shouldn’t be painful or humiliating and for many, it can be.

So Shades readers, as we celebrate International Women’s Day, let’s really consider and act on the notion of equality and inclusivity, in everything we do, from the jobs we have to the clothes we wear.  We deserve it.